you were scared of more than me when you called and i could hear it in your voice

i never understood when people said that
a heartbreak could destroy them
and i thought that, since my love was not loud
it was not strong.
my love was not fireworks, no bouquet of roses.
it was a tree, taking root and burrowing ever deeper.

have you ever seen a tree pulled out by the roots?

my chest is a crater.

my ribs are too small for my lungs.
my jaw clenches and my eyes weep
without the tired consent of my battered mind.
my whole body is become slave to my heart
whose steady beat is
no
longer
triumphant

i am alive. i am alive. i am alive.

but i am no longer alive
i simply
exist